Dark Sense of Humour
by Grac3
Summary: Bakura is taking advantage of the newly empty Millennium Puzzle when he is interrupted by his hikari, still stuck in the Shadow Realm. Set during the Virtual World arc. Can be read with or without Tendershipping.


**Warning: Reference to violence**

 **Disclaimer: Don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!**

* * *

This particular door was hidden underneath a staircase. Two short walls ran perpendicular to the door, creating a darkened alcove. The door handle shone in the shadows, a silver glint in the dark surroundings.

He reached out for the gleaming metal, the heavy door creaking open as he turned the handle.

Light from beyond the alcove spilled in through the open doorway, casting his spiky-haired shadow onto the stone floor. Beyond that corridor of light, however, he could see nothing of what was in the room. He took the fact that nothing had tried to kill him yet as a good sign, but he remained cautious all the same.

He took one step into the room, his shadow eating up the corridor of light. He waited a few seconds, listening for the tell-tale sounds of the springing of a booby trap; none came, and so he stepped fully into the room.

His only warning was a sharp, metallic sound, like the unsheathing of a sword from a scabbard, coming from somewhere above him. He looked up, the space up to the ceiling far above his head permeated with darkness: he was, for all intents and purposes, in a chimney.

A chimney down which something was now hurtling, ready to crush him into the ground.

He didn't wait to see what trap had been left for the poor, unsuspecting soul who couldn't get out of the way fast enough; he leapt backwards, out of the room, just as a large, metal weight slammed into the floor.

The weight, and all of its silver bulk, filled the entire room, extinguishing anyone unlucky enough to still be inside when it had ended its descent. He scowled, slamming the door shut, and turned away.

Knowing that, if there were any answers to be found beyond that door, he would not be able to find them, he stepped out into the large clearing beyond the alcove. All around him were more staircases, more doors, and complete silence.

Bakura was used to silence; there had been an abundance of it during the thousands of years in which he had resided within the Millennium Ring, and he had long learned to be content with his own company.

Yet the Puzzle had never been like this before: truly silent. It had always been humming and buzzing faintly in the background, the sounds of the two other souls who lived there going unnoticed by Bakura until they had abruptly disappeared. The sudden absence of the souls of the Pharaoh and little Yugi had left the Item feeling cold and empty, as Bakura was left on his own within its labyrinthine caverns.

A smirk played on his lips at the thought; he didn't know where the two owners of the Puzzle had gone, but he didn't particularly care. He had to seize this opportunity to explore as much of the Puzzle as he possibly could without fear of being found.

As he made his way over to the next door, the only sound in the entire Puzzle was the clapping of his shoes on the stone floor – that was, until it wasn't the only sound anymore.

Bakura paused, his hand inches from the doorknob, distracted by the noise that had reached his ears.

It was not from within the Puzzle; it couldn't have been.

But he recognised the voice that he had heard.

Questions began to rattle around his head: how could he hear that voice, from which he had believed himself to be cut off? How could they reach him from where they were, so far away?

And why were they screaming?

The sound ended as abruptly as it had begun, but in the silence it left behind, he felt a twinge of obligation.

Bakura scowled, concentrating on the Item around his neck, calling its magic forth and squinting slightly at the bright glow which began to shine through the material of his shirt. The Millennium Ring began to move through the fabric, no longer resting on the bare skin of his chest. The glow intensified, filling his entire vision, transporting him from the Puzzle and into much more familiar surroundings.

When he was once again in the midst of those dark clouds, he heard it again: a high-pitched scream, this time much louder and coming from directly behind him.

Bakura wheeled around on his heel, seeing the reason he had been interrupted from his Puzzle-searching. There was his hikari, lying on the floor and cowering in fear as he held up his hands to protect himself from the creature leaning over him.

The monster was humanoid – in theory – standing at least fifteen feet tall and bright orange, with long claws protruding from his toes. Two massive deep blue wings were stretched out on either side of it, as two clawed hands rested on its shoulders, connected to nothing other than its muscular shoulders. In its hands, it held an enormous sword, serrated vertically and obviously very heavy.

Bakura would recognise the Archfiend General anywhere.

The monster raised the weapon over its head, readying to swing it – with Ryou on the receiving end.

The monster roared as it prepared to cut Ryou in half, and the fear in the hikari's larger-than-life deep brown eyes grew to levels that Bakura found downright embarrassing, yet the boy was defenceless, and it would never do for him to perish in the Shadow Realm before Bakura could get out of the Puzzle.

Bakura reached into his back pocket, plucking a Duel Monsters card from its depths and holding it up to the Archfiend General.

"Dark Necrofear, attack!"

A bright light shone from the card in Bakura's hand, and the Dark Necrofear appeared between Bakura and the Archfiend General. Surging forward, the Dark Necrofear attacked the unsuspecting monster: the Archfiend General shattered before their eyes, the thousands of individual pieces to which it had now been reduced fading away into nothing before they could even fall to the ground. Its work now done, the Dark Necrofear was sucked back into its card, and Bakura returned it to his pocket.

Ryou didn't move from his position on the floor, propped up on his elbows. He was panting heavily, blood oozing lazily from the stab wound on his arm. Bakura walked over to him, standing by his side and crossing his arms over his chest.

"Thank you," Ryou gasped when he had regained some composure, though he had not turned away from the space which had a few moments ago contained his would-be murderer. "It came out of nowhere. I thought it was going to kill me."

"It was," Bakura told him matter-of-factly, earning a small whimper from his trembling hikari.

A moment passed, the only sound being Ryou's slowing breath as he began to recover. A flash of confusion shot through his chocolate irises, and he snapped his head to the side, looking up at Bakura. Bakura's brow furrowed slightly, silently instructing Ryou to tell him what he was thinking.

"Why did you save me?" he asked, a genuine, an almost childlike perplexity tainting his quiet voice.

"You are useful," Bakura answered curtly, wanting nothing more than to get back to the Puzzle to continue his exploration; after all, he didn't know what had caused the sudden absence of the Pharaoh and little Yugi, and he couldn't guarantee that they would be gone for much longer.

A small smirk quirked the corner of Ryou's lips. "You mean, you need me?"

Bakura scowled, his lip curling upwards in distaste. "I need your body," he defied. " _You_ are superfluous."

Ryou huffed slightly, a small, amused, exhale of breath through his nose. It infuriated Bakura.

"What?" he growled, unfolding his arms and holding them down by his sides, his hands balling into fists as his eyes flashed dangerously.

"If that was true, you would have killed me yourself ages ago and taken over my body completely. There's no need for you to keep me alive. Not really."

Fighting the urge to sneer, Bakura readied his response. "If I had done that, I would never have been able to befriend the Pharaoh and little Yugi, and I would be the one getting attacked by Archfiend Generals in the Shadow Realm right now instead of having the unique opportunity to search the Millennium Puzzle undetected."

Ryou sighed, sagging on his elbows as the gap between him and the floor narrowed. The playfulness in his features faded away, replaced with a sadness that somehow achieved the impossible, crawling into the space in Bakura's chest which he liked to think didn't contain a heart, and tugging at its strings.

"What is it?" Bakura sighed, his hands loosening.

Ryou's brow twitched slightly, his eyes wavering, seeming to threaten tears. "When can I come home?"

The question was asked so softly, so innocently, that Bakura's breath hitched in spite of himself. He had never kept any part of his plan from his hikari – after all, it was a little difficult to keep many secrets when the strength of their mind link allowed them to contact each other when they were so far apart as they had been when the Archfiend General was going to rid Ryou of his existence – so the best Bakura could do was to refuse Ryou the ability to protest.

Ryou knew that Bakura wasn't going to abandon him to the Shadow Realm forever, but the amount of time that the hikari would have to spend among the shadows could get no more precise than 'less than eternity'.

Bakura took a step nearer to Ryou, lowering himself onto one knee by his side, and trying to ignore the raw emotion in the depths of those big brown eyes. Bakura reached forward, curling his fingers into his hikari's niveous hair as he rested his palm on the back of his head. He pulled Ryou nearer to him, placing a kiss on his forehead. When he drew back, he stayed close, their noses a mere few inches apart.

"When the Pharaoh defeats this... _Marik_ ," he spat. "Which he will," he added, as a flash of hopelessness shot through Ryou's eyes. "I just don't know when."

Ryou let out a soft huff of breath – the ghost of a sob – as his eyes began to glisten with tears that Bakura prayed would never fall. "I don't like it here," he whispered.

"It's the Shadow Realm; you're not supposed to," Bakura quipped, earning a breathy chuckle from his hikari.

Bakura tried to ignore the small pang of guilt that he felt in his chest at the sound falling from Ryou's lips. The boy had been so soft and innocent when they had first met, and now he had inherited his own twisted and dark sense of humour. A part of him reminded him that it was only a matter of time – the boy was his reincarnation, after all. And perhaps it was this, rather than actual affection for the boy, that made him untangle his fingers from Ryou's hair and reach into his back pocket to pull out a single card, which he held out to his hikari between two deft fingers.

Ryou's brow furrowed in confusion as his eyes fell to the card being offered to him. "Dark Necrofear?" he asked timidly, a fear present in his eyes as though the monster would emerge and attack him the second he laid a finger on the card.

"Take it," Bakura told him.

"But... that's your favourite card."

"I won't need it in the Puzzle. Besides, when you return, I will get it back anyway."

Ryou's gaze flicked between Bakura and the Dark Necrofear card.

Bakura grit his teeth at his hikari's indecision, readying himself to rescind his offer.

After an age, Ryou reached out to the card, taking it from his yami.

"Thank you." He stared at the artwork on the card as though he couldn't quite get his head around the fact that this was really happening.

"Don't get used to it," Bakura warned.

Ryou opened his mouth to reply, but Bakura didn't stay around for long enough to hear whatever it was that his hikari wanted to say. He had had enough of that polite little voice for today. Instead, he concentrated on the Millennium Ring until the Item began to glow once more shining in his eyes and blocking out the purple shadows of the Shadow Realm. When it had faded, he was in the Puzzle once more.

Bakura sent out sensors, scanning the Puzzle for any signs of life; he found nothing: the Pharaoh and little Yugi were not back yet.

He turned his attention to the doors and staircases which surrounded him, wondering where he should search next. Yet as he took the first step towards a thick, metal door, he couldn't help but feel the lightness of his deck in his back pocket.

He shook his head, his hair ruffling as he banished the odd hollow feeling beginning in his chest at the thought of his hikari, alone in the Shadow Realm without protection for so long.

After all, he only needed Ryou for his body.

Didn't he?


End file.
